the wild swings of grimes going from presumed anti capitalist rebel to disgraced complicit girlfriend of anti union billionaire to accidentally indirectly causing the downfall of said billionaire via azaelia banks and therefore kind of fulfilling the role of an anti capitalist rebel? gripping
When i said this y’all told me to shut up. But lo behold. I was right.
As a communist, it is with great dismay that I must report that the two halves of my brain faced unresolvable ideological differences and have gone off to form their own separate organizations
butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway:
What I’m about to say next is not intended to shame you, but out of all the messages I’ve gotten in light of the recent discussion of age differentials, I think this is in my top 3 for most heartbreaking.
The age difference between 24 and 26 is almost nothing. Even among teens, a two year age difference is not especially concerning, but among adults, it would be completely normal for you to refer to each other as being the same age.
You’re adults, with jobs- literally the same job, possibly. The power differential that makes age differences a point of concern when young teens are involved is not there. It literally cannot be. The only possible power differentials in this relationship obligatorily come from other axes.
I am so very sorry that people have planted these ideas in your head.
You would not be taking advantage of him. You might need to file paperwork with HR, but that’s the sum total of concerns you should have about pursuing a relationship with him (assuming he is open to a relationship as well).
Even if he’s never dated anyone before, he’s an adult who can make his own decisions about what he does or does not want to do with you. The only impact one partner having more dating experience than another should have is that you might have more ideas about shit to do together beyond dinner and a movie, maybe.
I have literally never in my life had second thoughts about exclusively dating people older than me. Some were as little as 6 months older, others have been older by more than a decade. These age gaps were never especially relevant to our relationships because we always met and bonded through shared life experiences that placed us as peers.
A person doesn’t have to be your exact age to be a peer. That’s some elementary school grade bullshit. A person is your peer because they share a social position, a set of life experiences, and things like that. There are so many ways for a person to be a peer. And in the end, what is most important about a relationship is respect. Respect can come under so many different circumstances.
My current partners are 5 and 6 years older than me, and they treat me with respect and decency and autonomy and I work to do the same for them. We are PEERS and we have many areas of connection and shared experience. This is FINE. The only way you’re doing dating wrong is if you are failing to respect each other.
Given any two people, there will always be power imbalances. Power isn’t always institutional and the power that one person holds over another won’t always map easily onto their identities. Rather than trying to plan out relationships based on perceived power im/balances, you might just be more successful seeking out relationships that are fulfilling and working together to mitigate the effect of the power imbalances in your unique dynamic–especially since you won’t always be able to identify them before they arise.
“These age gaps were never especially relevant to our relationships because we always met and bonded through shared life experiences that placed us as peers.”
This this oh my god this. “What could an X-year-old possibly have in common with an X-minus-Y-year-old??” Uh, one of the many shared interests that humans of all ages can have? I dated a 38-year-old when I was 21, and we met doing community theater. I suspect the people who clutch their pearls at such things have not actually meaningfully interacted with the world outside of school. The only older people they know are their teachers and their parents’ friends. They have not yet grasped that real life is not age-segregrated. That in the course of pursuing your interests, you will meet many people who share them, some of whom are very different from you.
Being able to connect with different kinds of people is an adult skill. Evidently some people lack it, which – okay, but don’t treat the rest of us like freaks and perverts for forming bonds with anyone who isn’t exactly like us.
THAT.
Like I’ve said before, I was in an Irish dance group in high school. I was one of the younger, though not the youngEST, participants (there was another girl my same age, and two younger teens). The age range of the group was approximately 13-65.
Now, no one in this group ended up dating each other as far as I know, but holy heck did I catch a serious crush on one of the older-teen girls. But she’s straight and therefore not an option, oh well. Anyway. We did, in general, make friends! Because we spent several hours at a stretch, two days a week with each other! You gotta at least get along with people you’re spending that much time with, even if you don’t become BFFs-for-life!
And one of the women DID end up dating an Irish musician we did a show with. Because, you know, shared hobbies! I think they actually got married eventually. I’m not sure what respective ages they are, it didn’t matter. They got along well, had enough shared interests to forge a good connection, and were good to each other. And they were both adults.
I met my now-boyfriend at a psychic faire event where he was moonlighting as a tarot reader. I also read tarot, and ended up also doing readings at the same recurring event for a while until a new job created scheduling conflicts! Prior to that I’ve met people I ended up dating via: being co-workers, having mutual friends (which, shocker, it’s also possible to be friends with a range of ages), a pagan-solidarity meet-up group, and a small online fan-community. None of those things are particularly age-segregated, nor should they be.
Willingness to consider dating someone who’s a peer in your hobby group or field of employment even if they’re not the same age as you does not automatically make anyone predatory! Fuck’s sake. It MIGHT be predatory if someone’s consistently going after much younger datemates, but even that’s only a “hey maybe pay attention for other red flags here just in case” situation, unless they’re actively targeting *minors*.
Thetis is a complicated character because she’s a survivor of sexual assault and also a raging homophobe and also cares deeply about her son and also forces people to have sex with each other without their consent and also sacrifices thousands of people for her patriarchal idea of her son’s honor and actually no, changed my mind, she’s not complicated she’s just straight up bad
Looks like a cinnamon roll, could probably kill you: Briseis, Helen
Looks like they could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: Chiron
Sinnamon roll: Paris
Looks like they could kill you, could actually kill you: Literally everyone else
Patroclus: Achilles, you’re going to play the role of my father for this
Achilles: I don’t want to be your father
Patroclus: Perfect, you already know your lines
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malikovniklas: @litloversnetwork chapter 2: favorite characters best of men. best of myrmidons. it is truth. let it stand, for once.
Ten years into Trojan war and chill and your bf dies
This is not a tumblr. 